The Best Funny Jokes Husband vs Wife Comedy Skits That Will Have You Rolling

1. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
    Then we met.”

2. “Why did the husband cross the road?
     To get to the wife’s side.”

3. “I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, and she said yes.
     About me taking out the trash, doing the dishes, and cleaning the bathroom.”

4. “My wife told me she’s leaving me because I’m too obsessed with astrology.
     I’m a Sagittarius and that’s just typical Scorpio behavior.”

5. “My wife asked me to pass her a lip balm, and I accidentally gave her super glue.
     She’s still not talking to me.”

6. “My wife and I have an agreement. I don’t try to run her life and she doesn’t try to run mine.
     It works out well, since I’m not smart enough to run anyone’s life, let alone my own.”

7. “My wife and I are like two peas in a pod.
     Two rotten, old, wrinkled peas.”

8. “I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.
     She said ‘Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.’ So I got her nothing.”

9. “My wife said she’s leaving me because I’m too insecure.
     Wait, no, she said she’s leaving me because I’m too insecure. Dammit, I messed that up.”

10. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
      She gave me a hug.”