The Best of Political Roasts: When Insults Fly Faster Than Policies

1. Why don’t politicians play hide and seek?
    Because good luck finding one who isn’t hiding something!

2. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    Two: one to change it and another to change it back again
    just to make sure they’re still in control.

3. Did you hear about the politician who went to the doctor?
    The doctor said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is you have a personality. The bad news is      it’s split into multiple conflicting factions.”

4. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election?
    Because they heard the polls were really high!

5. Why did the politician sit on the clock during the debate?
    Because they wanted to be “on top of the polls”!

6. What’s the difference between a catfish and a politician?
    One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a fish!

7. Why don’t politicians ever play poker?
    Too many cheaters for their liking!

8. Why did the politician go to therapy?
    Because they were suffering from “electile dysfunction”!

9. How do you get a politician to change their mind?
    Wait for the next campaign contribution.

10. Why don’t politicians ever have secrets?
     Because they can’t help but “leak” everything!