1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, despite having a head filled with hay and a straw-some sense of humor!
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
6. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you…”
7. I told my computer I needed a break, but it refused.
Guess it doesn’t understand the concept of “Ctrl + Alt + Delete.”
8. I would tell you a joke about chemistry,
but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
9. I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands.
10. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!