1. Why did the politician go to art school?
Because he heard they teach you how to draw new district lines!
2. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they’re too busy arguing about who gets credit for the idea.
3. Why was the politician always calm during debates?
Because he had mastered the art of political “zen” and knew how to filibuster his emotions.
4. Why don’t politicians play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding one that actually wants to be found!
5. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election?
Because he heard the polls were high!
6. Why did the politician bring a mirror to the campaign trail?
Because he wanted to see who the voters really saw as their reflection of change!
7. What do you call a politician who’s lost an election?
A “re-count” Dracula!
8. Why did the politician bring a GPS to the rally?
Because he couldn’t find his way back to his promises without it!
9. Why did the politician break up with his calculator?
Because it could only divide and conquer!
10. Why was the politician a good gardener?
Because he knew how to plant ideas and watch them grow…
even if they were just for votes!