Politician Stand-Up: Comedy Night in the House (and Senate)

1. What’s a politician’s favorite dance move?
   The flip-flop!

2. Why did the politician get kicked out of the restaurant?
    He couldn’t stop filibustering the menu!

3. Why don’t politicians ever make good detectives?
    Because they can never solve anything without pointing fingers!

4. I asked a politician if he believes in the power of prayer.
    He said, “Yes, especially when it comes to getting re-elected!”

5. Why did the politician become a gardener?
    Because he was great at planting ideas!

6. I asked a politician if he believes in ghosts.
     He said, “No, but I do believe in pollsters!”

7. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the debate?
    He heard the polls were looking up!

8. How do politicians say goodbye?
    They wave!

9. Why did the politician enroll in acting classes?
    He wanted to improve his role-playing during debates!

10. I told a politician a joke about ethics.
     He laughed, then took a poll to see if it was
    appropriate to find it funny!