The Funniest Dad Jokes You’ve Never Heard Before

1. I have a photographic memory,
   but I always forget to bring the film.

2. How does a penguin build its house?
    Igloos it together.

3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
    Because they make up everything.

4. Why don’t ghosts like rain?
    It dampens their spirits.

5. I’m on a whiskey diet.
    I’ve lost three days already.

6. Why don’t ants get sick?
    Because they have tiny ant-bodies.

7. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    A gummy bear.

8. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park?
    They woke up.

9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised.

10. I’m reading a book on the history of glue.
     I just can’t seem to put it down.