Best Funny of Edgy jokes

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
   Because they make up everything!

2. I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”

3. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape.
    That would be a big step forward.

4. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought to myself,
    “That’s the last thing I need!”

5. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough,
    so I decided to knead a new career.

6. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
    I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!

7. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
    She gave me a hug.

8. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.
    I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She seemed surprised.

10. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey,
     but then I turned myself around.