1. Why did the wife bring a ladder to bed?
She wanted to climb up the social ladder!
2. My wife just told me that I’m terrible in bed.
I was really surprised, because I didn’t even know we were playing!
3. Why do men like love at first sight?
Because they know it’s the last time they’ll ever have to do the dishes!
4. How many husbands does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that’s a woman’s job.
5. A wife asked her husband, “Why don’t you ever say ‘I love you’ like you used to?”
The husband replied, “Because after we got married, I assumed you knew!”
6. Why did the husband bring a mirror to bed?
So he could see what his wife was doing behind his back!
7. How can you tell if a man is happy in his marriage?
He’s the one who’s apologizing.
8. A wife was giving her husband the silent treatment. Suddenly, she hears a knock at the door. Her husband says, “I’ll get it.” When he opens the door, he says to the visitor, “Sorry, she’s not talking to me right now.”
9. What’s the difference between a wife and a job?
After 10 years, the job still sucks.
10. A husband said to his wife, “I bet you can’t say something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.” The wife replied, “You have the biggest penis out of all your friends.”