1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
4. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. I told my computer I needed a break,
and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
7. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
8. I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already.
9. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
10. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.