Comedy Central Government Edition: The Funniest Moments in Politics

1. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician?
    Because he was outstanding in his field!

2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
    She gave me a hug and said, “You must be talking about our government.”

3. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election?
    He wanted to climb up in the polls!

4. I asked my computer for a joke about politicians.
    It replied, “That’s too unrealistic.”

5. Why don’t politicians ever get lost?
    Because wherever they are, that’s where the campaign trail leads!

6. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    None. They’re all afraid of change, even if it means the light is out.

7. Why did the politician cross the road?
    To get to the other campaign rally!

8. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
    I also used to vote based on promises, but now I use my brain.

9. What’s a politician’s favorite type of math?
    Division, because it keeps them in power!

10. Why did the politician go to therapy?
     To work on his “issue” with flip-flopping!