1. “Why is it that when we talk to God, we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?”
2. “Have you ever noticed that the worst part of getting a haircut is always the small talk with the hairdresser?”
3. “Why do we call them ‘apartments’ when they’re all stuck together?”
4. “Why do people say ‘heads up’ when they really mean ‘duck’?”
5. “Have you ever noticed that the hardest part of going on a diet is resisting the urge to order pizza?”
6. “Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?”
7. “Why do we say ‘sleep like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?”
8. “Why do we call it ‘rush hour’ when everyone is just sitting in traffic?”
9. “Have you ever noticed how your brain always comes up with the perfect comeback hours after an argument?”
10. “Why do we say ‘I slept like a log’ when logs don’t even move?”