1. Instagram is where you can see people’s highlight reels,
but Twitter is where you see their unfiltered thoughts.
2. If you want to know what someone’s really like,
just look at their LinkedIn profile picture.
3. Facebook is where you can reconnect with people you haven’t seen in years, and then immediately regret it.
4. Social media is the only place where you can like your own posts without feeling like a complete narcissist.
5. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it,
did it even happen? If you don’t post it on Instagram, did you even go there?
6. Twitter is like a public diary,
except you’re sharing it with millions of people you’ve never met.
7. If social media has taught me anything,
it’s that there’s a lot of people who really love taking selfies.
8. LinkedIn is like Facebook,
but everyone’s trying to look more professional than they actually are.
9. The only thing worse than getting no likes on your post is getting a notification that someone unliked it.
10. I tried to quit social media,
but then I realized I had no other way to stalk my exes.