Best Funny Jokes From Your Favorite Comedians

1.  Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
     Because they make up everything.

2. Why did the tomato turn red?
     Because it saw the salad dressing.

3. What do you call a fake noodle?
    An impasta.

4. Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
     He drank his coffee before it was cool.

5. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised.

6. Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
    Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.

7. Why don’t oysters give to charity?
    Because they’re shellfish.

8. Why did the math book look so sad?
     Because it had too many problems.

9. I used to play piano by ear,
    but now I use my hands.

10. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
     A gummy bear.