1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything, just like politicians!
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
4. I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
7. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. Why did the bike fall over?
It was two-tired!
9. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
10. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent!