1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
4. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
5. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground?
They woke up!
6. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out!
7. I told my wife she was overreacting. She just stormed off saying,
“Oh, you’re right, I forgot I married a psychic!”
8. What do you call fake noodle?
An impasta!
9. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
10. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels!