1. My friend got a job at a bakery because he kneaded dough.
It was a “yeastly” decision.
2. I tried to catch some fog,
but I mist.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
4. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
5. What do you call a fake noodle?
6. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits.
He replied, “How flexible are you?”
I said, “I can’t make it on Mondays.”
7. I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
8. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.
9. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know why.
10. I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands.