1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
2. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?”
I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
4. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!
5. I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands.
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
7. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
9. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
10. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.